Friends Of STAR

My first PC was an Olivetti from Italy. Actually I did not buy it, it was given to me by the government when they were testing the first online government portal in late 80s. Back then there was no GUI (graphical user interface) - so you had to use command prompt for everything. When the first GUI was introduced (outside of Apple) called Windows, I bought my own PC. My first Windows was Windows 3. My first PC was a brand called Explorer - I remember buying it from a shop called City PC at Ampang Park but the shop is no longer there. It cost me a bomb and it came without a harddisk. My first harddisk was measly 20MB and the price, slightly above RM1,000.00. The monitor was EGA and the picture quality; well, it was shitty. 

I can't remember exactly my first internet. But I guess it was in early 90s and internet was then operated by MIMOS (TM Net did not exist yet). And I got an account because I was working for a government agency. The internet speed was then a measly 14.4 kbs and you needed to know a little bit of BASIC language to tweak the connection. Later the speed was upped to 33.6 and I bought a new modem for this and it cost me a whopping RM600.00. Modems then were limited to American brands like Hayes, Motorolla and USR. When TM Net came into the scene later on, the whole scenario changed.

During this stone age, the most popular applications besides the OS were Wordstar or Wordperfect followed by Lotus 123, a spreadsheet. All DOS-based.

My first social networking program was MIRC, a chat program. Later on Microsoft introduced MSN Chat which was hugely popular with Malaysians. But later they closed down the Malaysian server. My favorite chatroom was Married But Flirting....hahaha.

I guess Google when they came into the picture they changed everything. But the application that changes the landscape of the internet is Facebook, no wonder they have more than 800 million users and growing.

Let's go back a few million years for a joke about pc (this actually happened):-

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.  (Now I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' 

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .' 

Operator: 'What sort of trouble?' 

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' 

Operator: 'Went away?' 

Caller: 'They disappeared' 

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?' 

Caller: 'Nothing.' 

Operator: 'Nothing??' 

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' 

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' 

Caller: 'How do I tell?' 

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?' 

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' 

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' 

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..' 

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?' 

Caller: 'What's a monitor?' 

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. 

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' 

Caller: 'I don't know.' 

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' 

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' 

Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.. 

Caller: 'Yes, it is.' 

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ' 

Caller: 'No.' 

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' 

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' 

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..' 

Caller: 'I can't reach.' 

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?' 

Caller: 'No...' 

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' 

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.' 

Operator: 'Dark?' 

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' 

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' 

Caller: 'I can't..' 

Operator: 'No? Why not?' 

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' 

Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?' 

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' 

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' 

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' 

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' 

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?' 

Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'