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These are notes taken during Hari Raya gathering at Haji Jalil's house at Bukit Jelutong. Almost the whole night was spent talking about the merits and demerits of polygamy but first some background pointers about polygamy.

Polygamy (polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "often married") is a marriage which includes more than two partners. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny, and there is no marriage bond between the wives; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry, and there is no marriage bond between the husbands.

Polygamy was practiced in many sections of Hindu society in ancient times. There was one example of polyandry in the ancient Hindu epic, Mahabharata, Draupadi marries the five Pandava brothers. Regarding polygyny, in Ramayana, father of Ram, King Dasharath has three wives, but Ram has pledged himself just one wife. Modern India's Hindu Marriage Act has deemed polygamy to be illegal for Hindus, Jains, Buddhists, and Sikhs. Only Muslim men in India are allowed to have multiple wives, since they are governed under Sharia law.

In Buddhism, marriage is not a sacrament. It is purely a secular affair and the monks do not participate in it. Hence it receives no religious sanction. It is said in the Parabhava Sutta that "a man who is not satisfied with one woman and seeks out other women is on the path to decline".

Technically, polygamy is not forbidden in Jewish law but there are only a few known cases of it among Karaite Jews today. Israel, in accordance with Western ethics, has made polygamy illegal.

The New Testament does not specifically address the morality of polygamy. In modern times a minority of Roman Catholic theologians have argued that polygamy, though not ideal, can be a legitimate form of Christian marriage in certain regions, in particular Africa. The Roman Catholic Church clearly condemns polygamy; the Catechism of the Catholic Church lists it in paragraph 2387 under the head "Other offenses against the dignity of marriage" and states that it "is not in accord with the moral law." Splinter groups of Latter Day Saint movement (Mormon) continue the practice of plural marriage. Polygamy among these groups persists today in Utah and its neighboring states in USA as well as in the spin-off colonies.

In Islam, polygyny is allowed, with the specific limitation that a man can have up to four wives at any one time. The Qur'an clearly states that men who choose this route must deal with their wives justly. If the husband fears that he cannot deal with his wives justly, then he should only marry one. The Qur'an does not give preference in marrying more than one wife but allows it to make it easier on a woman that has no support. Islamic scholars opinion that the husband must tell the first wife if he wants to marry another. A husband doesn't have to have permission from his first wife. Although many Muslim countries still retain traditional Islamic law which permits polygamy, secular elements within some Muslim societies challenge its acceptability. Polygamy is prohibited by law in some Muslim-majority countries that have not adopted Islamic law for marital regulations, such as Azerbaijan, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Tunisia and Turkey.

Some Not So Scientific Theories On Polygamy

1. There is a formula for choosing a perfect second wife. Take your age, divide it by two and add seven. For example, if you are 55, the perfect age for your second wife is ((55/2)+7) or 35. A theory attributed to Cik Din.
2. Don't ask your friend for advice. Pak Pin says never ask your friend for advice since one camp would say no, don't marry while another one would encourage you to go ahead and get a second wife. The best way is "just get married" without asking for any opinion.
3. Those who continously talk about polygamy during get-together sessions are actually closet monogamists. Theory attributed to Safuan.
4. Polygamy is looked down by society because originally only express bus drivers, long-distance lorry drivers and taxi drivers have more than one wife. This is according to Chot.
5. Osman says taking the second wife is the most difficult part in polygamy. Third and fourth will be plain sailing.